parenting your out of control teenager 7 steps to reestablish authority and recl
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Little children, headache; big children, heartache. Italian Proverb Make Quality Time with your Child Count
In today's busy world, work, household chores and social activities all put a strain on your time with your child. But as you well know, it's imperative that you spend quality time together. It helps strengthen the bond between parent and child, and lets your child know you can be trusted and counted on. Children who spend quality time with their parents often do better in school, and excel in extracurricular activities, hobbies or sports. And though it can be 'scheduled' to a degree, it's something that happens when you least expect it. Therefore it's important that you do spend as much time as possible with your child in a relaxed atmosphere and do things together that you both enjoy.
But you're asking yourself, "Where am I going to find the time? My schedule's crazy enough as it is!" Well, for something as important as your child, you need to start digging around in that crazy schedule and find the time. Prioritizing is the key.
Here's some helpful suggestions on how to make the most of your time and find quality time where you least expect it.
Look at your household chore list and decide which ones can be left undone or be done imperfectly in order to make more family time. You might also want to consider leaving certain things until after your child has gone to bed to make the most of your time together.
Turn some of your everyday routines together count. Sing some favorite silly songs on the way to daycare, or make that drive to and from school a great opportunity to discuss what's happening in your child's life.
If you have more than one child, realize that each of them needs your individual attention. You may really have to juggle things around to make this happen, but try to be flexible and creative when spending time with each of your kids. And no matter what, don't skip those individual times with each child. By doing so you show them they're lower down on the priority list than the dry cleaning or the grocery shopping.
Children thrive on stability and routines, so plan your quality times so that they can take place regularly. Maybe you can walk the dog together on weekend morning, take a shopping excursion together, have a scheduled night each week for a sit-down dinner together, or make a trip to the park.
Parenting Your Out Of Control Teenager 7 Steps To Reestablish Authority And Recl
More often than not, these children use the experience to devalue themselves.
Recent studies suggest that low-income parents tend to endorse much harsher discipline, partially because they hold stronger beliefs about the value of spanking and experience higher levels of stress. However, parents who work in high-stress jobs or are stay-at-home parents who are feeling frustrated or isolated are also at risk. It's imperative that parents recognize their tendency to punish a child too severely and take the needed steps to make sure the punishment is appropriate for their child's age, temperament and maturity level.
The study's finding showed that parents from lower income levels or work high pressure jobs are more stressed, and they react more emotionally to their child's behavior, and thus use harsher discipline. A parent in this situation may benefit from outside assistance and learning about alternative disciplinary strategies that are more appropriate and less harsh. It's also important for a parent to realize that children thrive on praise. Parents in such a situation may always jump to discipline but fail to praise their child for their good deeds, behaviors and traits. Children instinctively want to please their parents and make them proud. By encouraging positive behavior, the parent will most likely discourage the behavior that has driven them in the past to punish too harshly.
In order to encourage positive behavior deserving of praise, parents might want to consider giving their child a task they know they're able to accomplish, and praise their efforts along the way. Parents need to also consistently praise their children for the positive traits they possess. Their child might be good at math in school, helpful to their little brother or sister, or is good at drawing pictures. Praise these good traits and the child is likely to respond by acting appropriately and behaving positively in order to gain more praise.
In the end, it's important to remember that a child is just that - a child. A parent should make a concerted effort to make sure the discipline is appropriate and take care of themselves physically, mentally and emotionally so they can optimally provide for their child's physical and emotional well-being.
Designate no less than one night per week to have a sit-down meal with your family. Ensure the child understands the need for the chore's effective and efficient completion. Sometimes it can be very challenging to communicate anything with your child. Remember that your child is an individual. Should you determine that what was once working isn't working anymore and develop a new parameter, be sure all adult caregivers are brought into the loop so that follow through remains consistent and clear. A parent should lead by example and never lie, and when they are caught in a lie, express remorse and regret for making a conscious decision to tell a lie.
A child will be more respectful towards rules and more willing to abide by them if the rules are clear and consistent.
Children of involved parents generally feel more confident, assured and have a higher level of self esteem. Try to refrain from saying mean, sarcastic or belittling things to your child. Your child may want to join in or work on their own as a result. Decide whether or not you're going to use pull-ups, training pants or regular underwear and try to stick with this decision so your child has consistency and isn't confused. We all know as parents that discussing and negotiating the rules with our children is never easy.