Clarence Budinton Kelland: My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. Harsh Discipline: Does it do More Harm than Good?
Recent studies suggest that low-income parents tend to endorse much harsher discipline, partially because they hold stronger beliefs about the value of spanking and experience higher levels of stress.
However, parents who work in high-stress jobs or are stay-at-home parents who are feeling frustrated or isolated are also at risk. It's imperative that parents recognize their tendency to punish a child too severely and take the needed steps to make sure the punishment is appropriate for their child's age, temperament and maturity level.
The study's finding showed that parents from lower income levels or work high pressure jobs are more stressed, and they react more emotionally to their child's behavior, and thus use harsher discipline. A parent in this situation may benefit from outside assistance and learning about alternative disciplinary strategies that are more appropriate and less harsh.
It's also important for a parent to realize that children thrive on praise. Parents in such a situation may always jump to discipline but fail to praise their child for their good deeds, behaviors and traits. Children instinctively want to please their parents and make them proud. By encouraging positive behavior, the parent will most likely discourage the behavior that has driven them in the past to punish too harshly.
In order to encourage positive behavior deserving of praise, parents might want to consider giving their child a task they know they're able to accomplish, and praise their efforts along the way. Parents need to also consistently praise their children for the positive traits they possess. Their child might be good at math in school, helpful to their little brother or sister, or is good at drawing pictures. Praise these good traits and the child is likely to respond by acting appropriately and behaving positively in order to gain more praise.
In the end, it's important to remember that a child is just that - a child. A parent should make a concerted effort to make sure the discipline is appropriate and take care of themselves physically, mentally and emotionally so they can optimally provide for their child's physical and emotional well-being.
Teen Parenting
By encouraging positive behavior, the parent will most likely discourage the behavior that has driven them in the past to punish too harshly.
Are your kids turning into a couch decoration that hardly ever moves? Can you be a proud parent because you always know exactly where they are? This could be a good thing for our nerves when we do not have to wonder where they are, but how good is it for their health when they are constantly sitting on the couch or floor playing video games or watching television. This has become a serious habit for some kids and many parents are at the end of their rope when it comes to getting them out of the house and being more active.
Parents are not the only ones concerned about how inactive many of our kids are becoming. Obesity among children it at its highest level since records were started years ago. A large part of this obesity is due to the technological world we live in. Children used to love playing outdoors because most of the time there was not much to do inside the house that was that much fun. That is definitely not true today. Kids are suffering from high cholesterol and sometimes even high blood pressure. This is stemming from the large amounts of fats in their diet and also from the lack of enough physical activity to burn off all of those fatty calories.
So, what can parents do to help get their kids moving short of starting a fire under their rear ends? The object is to get them to get outdoors and be more active. It is hard to get them away from computers, video games, and their favorite videos. The trick is to make outside activities just as enjoyable. This might require some movement on your part as well. This means that if you want then to become involved in exercise of the physical kind, you might just have to roll up your sleeves and get out there with them.
Many parents involve their kids is sports activities that go on in their community, but this might not be for all kids or fit into every family schedule. Sometimes spontaneous things like just going out and tossing a ball around or going for an unplanned bike ride is beneficial. They get their exercise, you get yours, and if your lucky you and your kid get to spend time getting to know each other again and have a smoking, calorie burning good time doing it.
A parent should lead by example and never lie, and when they are caught in a lie, express remorse and regret for making a conscious decision to tell a lie. Children of involved parents are less likely to get into mischief, have emotional problems, or have problems in school. Play provides a means for energy to be put to use. Children have a right to be protected from physical abuse, and laws in every state demand severe punishment for those found guilty of physically harming a child.
We all want to connect and be involved with our child.
It is important for parents to model appropriate behavior and to establish expectations as well as limits. The study's finding showed that parents from lower income levels or work high pressure jobs are more stressed, and they react more emotionally to their child's behavior, and thus use harsher discipline. Firmly tell the child again that there is no biting allowed, that it is wrong, and that it hurts people. Most parents do not want to use physical punishment as a form of discipline.
