If I had my child to raise all over again, I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later. I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging and less tugging. Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"
Follow Through Is the Key to Successful Discipline



Let's face it. There are just some days when it would just seem easier to let your child have his way than feeling like you're fighting a losing battle when trying to discipline them. They beg, plead, cry, barter and scream - anything to get out of doing the time for their crime. However, don't lose your strength and your will during this time. It's times like these when consistent disciplinary action is imperative to teaching your child positive and acceptable behaviors. There is no room for negotiation when it comes to bad behaviors and there should be no room for exceptions when it comes time for punishing misdeeds or bad behavior.


Hopefully before any misdeeds occur, you've sat down with your child and discussed the consequences of misdeeds and inappropriate behavior or decisions. Be concise and consistent when discussing these consequences so that when the time to implement them comes, you can follow through with ease. Children are classically testing the boundaries and limits set on them on a continual basis, and the temptation to 'bend the rules' just once or twice can be overwhelming when they're really trying your patience. But be firm yet fair. Emphasize that this was the understood consequence for this particular misdeed or inappropriate action, and that now is not the time to negotiate. Afterwards, take time out to discuss the situation with your child, and if it seems that perhaps a consequence that worked at first isn't working anymore, rethink that punishment and negotiate with your child. Of course, parameters that are set for their well-being or safety should never be negotiated. But in other instances, it may be time to develop a new consequence based on your child's age, temperament or maturity level.


It's also imperative that your spouse and any other adult caregivers are all on the same page and following through on punishments with the same level of consistency and clarity. Should you determine that what was once working isn't working anymore and develop a new parameter, be sure all adult caregivers are brought into the loop so that follow through remains consistent and clear.

Systematic Training For Effective Parenting

We all know as parents that discussing and negotiating the rules with our children is never easy.

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Prepare children for such unexpected events and show them that though it can happen from time to time, the routine will return the next day.
You've probably unconsciously redeveloped your parenting skills around the individual needs of your child. This social competence allows children to be cooperative and generous, express their feelings, and empathize with others. It may seem as though children fight rules and regulations, but they truly know that such parameters are meant for their well-being, health, safety, and enable them to grow into a mature person capable of making wise decisions. These parameters you set forth and enforce make your child feel loved, safe, and secure. So when a young child asks "Why?

It's probably something they did before they were born and revert back to it when they are nervous, agitated, scared or ill.
Help your child develop a work area where they can study and focus without being interrupted. Parents and educators alike can support this learning activity by ensuring age-appropriate toys, materials and environments are available to the child. All children should be asked in a firm but pleasant tone to complete a designated task or stop an undesired behavior. Encourage positive behavior in your child by spending quality time alone with your child each day.